Harmony's Story: Learning to be kind to myself

Finding the strength to overcome barriers

When Harmony became homeless at 17, she sofa surfed with friends before being referred to Centrepoint.

It was a challenging time, especially as she was trying to complete her A-levels. However, she found ways to manage how she was feeling.

“The best thing I could do was to utilise the support that was around me and just become better at communicating,” she explains. “It was hard, I was depressed and I didn’t go to college as much, but what gave me the strength to carry on was to treat myself like a friend. So even when I get low, I tell myself to gather the strength to get back on track. I channelled the negative energy into something positive and found ways to express how I was feeling.”

One of the things that helped during this difficult period, was to focus her attention on her college work. One assignment she particularly enjoyed was on poetry and Black female identity. A subject that was very close to her heart.

 “My motivation for that assignment was my own experience and what I was seeing around me. Through channelling my own experience and pain, I was able to complete the work to a good standard. I got an A. It helped me to see myself more positively. The passion that I had for the project surpassed anything else I was feeling about myself so I was able to keep going.”

This assignment motivated Harmony to continue a creative writing practice as an outlet to express her feelings and manage her mental health.

Below is one of her poems.

Harmony.

She means peace.

But she also means war because she knows she’s in between.

Her spirit creates waves like the ocean and her character creates tides.

She’s complicated so in the layers of her soul, her identity can sometimes be hard to find.

She drowns herself in the confusion of her own thoughts because she struggles to swim with them.

So instead, she allows herself to be consumed by the words of her mind.

She can be like a beautiful river passing by but she can also create storms due to her resistance to just be.

She reaches her true potential when she accepts the flow of her reality. 

Her true beauty lies within her authenticity. 

I love Harmony.

Learning to love her excites me and as I go through the journey of life, she only increases my curiosity.

Support from Centrepoint

As well as pursuing a creative practice, having a key worker at Centrepoint and access to other support was hugely valuable for Harmony.

“My keyworker Jazz has been amazing. I can call her when I am upset of overwhelmed and she is always able to help. I don’t have that with many other people in my life.”

When Harmony finished college, she was able to access support from one of Centrepoint’s Jobs and Education (JET) Advisors, Elayne, who was able to sign post her to opportunities and support her development and independence in general. 

“We discussed my interests so she could send me opportunities when they arise and she helped me to be more responsible and organised – simple things like encouraging me to put appointments in my calendar. It sounds like a basic thing, but it’s something I struggled with and it’s been really helpful.” 

Another thing that Elayne did was to refer Harmony to our hospitality trainer Sarah who is working with her ahead of some Barista training and employment with Old Spike Coffee. Harmony has found this beneficial.

“Doing hospitality training with Sarah has really helped me with my time management – making sure I come in for appointments and sessions. I’ve been doing an employment portfolio which will help with future employment.  Sarah also helps me to be kinder to myself and focus on all the qualities that I have.”

Sarah has been so impressed with Harmony’s attitude during the training. She says,

“Harmony put a lot of effort into all three of the employability skills units. It has been a pleasure working with her and witnessing her confidence blossom.”

AJ, Centrepoint’s Healthy Relationships Advisor has also been supporting Harmony.

“AJ really helped me to understand relationships that might not be healthy,” Harmony reflects. “I’ve learnt to let people go who aren’t good for me. Being at Centrepoint has been the first time I’ve had the strength to let go of relationships that didn’t serve me. AJ has taught me that I have the power to change things.”

For AJ, it’s been heartening to see Harmony develop and focus on her future self.

“Harmony is taking the time for herself to work out what she wants, and what she expects in her relationships. She is creative in what she wants to achieve in her work life – developing her vision to work with others through massage and holistic health is inspiring.  It’s joy to work with Harmony in this part of her life’s journey, as she runs towards these goals”.

Advice to others

Over the past year, Harmony has grown in so many ways. Her advice to others is to be kind to yourself. 

“When you feel alone, comfort yourself. Give yourself a hug and give love to yourself. Be authentically you, allow yourself to let out your feelings and all parts of yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help! I think I was always too proud or felt that I should be able to do everything by myself, but now I realise that people are here to support me and it’s ok.”

Future Dreams

After her training with Old Spike, Harmony was offered a permanent position. "I'm really enjoying it," she says. "It's really building up my confidence."

Harmony hopes one day to train to be a holistic therapist and has dreams of starting a business of her own in the area of wellbeing. 

We wish Harmony all the best in this endeavour and in her future.