Miss Lartey’s story: Know yourself, love yourself, understand yourself

Leaving home and finding herself

Miss Lartey remembers having a happy childhood, filled with music, dancing and travelling with her family and friends. “I had a beautiful upbringing with my family. I was dancing, touring, travelling and living my best young life”. 

However, as a teenager she began to recognise that there were practices, beliefs and ways of being that she didn’t agree with in her household. As she tried to navigate the difficult conversations with her family around mental wellbeing, generational trauma and norms that had become acceptable, it caused friction and triggered a breakdown in their relationship. “But then I started to realise certain things in my family that didn’t make much sense to me, and I began to challenge and push people when they weren’t ready to open up”.

“Conversations weren’t really being had about what was actually happening and it led to a family break up. I was kicked out, and sofa surfing with family and then ended up going to friend’s households. And then I was on the streets and my friend recommended I go to hostels, which I didn’t know existed at the time”.

During all of this, Miss Lartey was also struggling to manage her physical and mental health, which added to how overwhelming her situation felt at the time. She was also starting to understand herself through her sexuality and what that meant to her, and so the combination of these emotionally and physically challenging situations made it hard to cope.

“I have Crohn’s disease, and I was always in hospital and questioning my mental wellbeing and going through suicidal thoughts. I was going through a lot, but no one really knew that, and I was seen as a troublesome child in the family”. 

“I was in a very good home, and I came from a two-parent household, and you know they were never struggling. So, to go from that to then not having any family and friends and no money and being unwell. Also going through my queerness and trying to figure out my sexuality, it was like my whole world just flipped upside down”.

Making space and raising her voice

After finding herself homeless, Miss Lartey worked with Centrepoint and other supported accommodation organisations to help find a home and move on to live independently. She remembers a piece of advice that her support worker at the time gave her, which has helped guide her and the support she gives to people in her community. 

“I remember there was a woman who worked at Centrepoint, and she came to me at the time with a real tip. She said to me what are you doing now and how can you better yourself? Knowing the law and my rights and my illness and how I can manage working and being ill. It all just gave me a kick in the head with looking at practical resources to help myself and from then I no longer took excuses”.

Whilst living in supported accommodation, she created her first social movement, called Hear The Motion, as a way to amplify the voices of those not being heard to advocate for and champion their needs. “Hear The Motion started because I realised that a lot of people weren’t even hearing young people, even from the simplest things. I remember thinking people aren’t being heard and their actions aren’t being seen or felt and nothing’s being witnessed. This was a movement of people trying, in different ways with different languages, with their voices and with their actions trying to be heard".

Through sports days, dance classes, open mic nights and SMASH workshops, where people could break objects, chant and receive therapy, she created a space to bring communities together, open up challenging conversations and make space for people who often don’t have their opinions heard. 

After creating Hear The Motion and offering support and space for all people in her local community, Miss Lartey started HOPE. After running these activities with Hear the Motion for all communities, she decided to focus on supporting melanated people specifically and this was a real turning point in her work. For her, it was clear what the goal of HOPE was - “I wanted to bring hope back to my community”.

One of the theatre projects she ran, called I Exist, focussed on breaking the cycle of generational trauma and supporting each other to not repeat patterns they have seen in the past. As something personal to her experience, this was an important place to start thinking about making that impactful and sustained change within the community. 

“It looked at how you exist in this world and how do we allow our past to not impact our present and our futures but actually divert us and educate each other to break those generational cycles. It was a chance to create shows to educate and bring families together to have those real conversations without sharing blame but owning yourself and owning your future and your own story”.

After giving so much of herself into running Hear The Motion and HOPE, Miss Lartey’s health took a decline as she was trying to balance her own mental and physical wellbeing with running and building the movement. “I ended up going to hospital straight to a show and then having surgery straight after a show and I couldn’t keep up with the mental and physical stress I was taking on. I wasn’t really managing my own wellbeing based on how much I was giving out and the balance was not balancing”.

“So, I took a year out to learn more about my illness and learn about my own family, generational trauma and figure out ways to release my own self and manage my emotions where I don’t have to take on too much from other people and from there, Naala’s House was born”.

Building Naala’s House

The experiences that she went through so early in her life and what she learnt whilst managing Hear The Motion and HOPE have been a driving force for her in creating Naala’s House. This a community-centred charitable organisation that supports people to reach their full potential, challenge cultural norms and begin to help people heal and thrive.

“I decided to put all my energy into my community and figuring out why my family did this and why these conversations are so normal with people kicking their children out and not understanding their sexuality or wellbeing and their parents themselves going through trauma but aren’t willing to talk about it. I was like, how can I change this?”.

Sustainability is at the heart of Naala’s house, not only from an environmental point of view, but in making sure that the skills that people take away from any of the events and activities can be sustained, maintained and continued in a healthy and manageable way.

“We’re finally here bringing everything I’ve done in the past altogether. We educate on self-sustainability in all aspects, from clothing to mental wellbeing to managing finances to navigating the working world to looking after your children and having those real conversations. It’s about managing realistic expectations – you can sustain a lot of them without hurting yourself or breaking the bank or having to travel the world. By taking small steps each and every single day – that you are consistent with that, and it will help you grow and help you towards a better life”.

Miss Lartey doesn’t shy away from having challenging conversations with people in her community recognising the importance in speaking up about those topics to ensure that people understand themselves, can advocate for their need and know where their boundaries are. “My mottos are ‘get uncomfortable to get comfortable’ because you have to have those uncomfortable conversations, challenge things and be your own advocate and ‘there are no excuses in Naala’s House’”.

Naala’s House makes spaces for a range of different activities to support the local community and create impactful and sustainable change. A recent project Miss Lartey has been working on, called The Wardrobe Plug, has been supporting young people with confidence and clothing for job interviews to make sure that they have the skills and support they need to enter the working world. 

Miss Lartey, whilst at school, remembers receiving clothes from other organisations and how impactful that was but that often the clothes wouldn’t fit right, or they didn’t match young people’s personal style. When thinking about what young people would need to create long lasting change and provide them with new skills, her support takes a holistic approach so that young people know how to fix, alter and maintain their clothes in a sustainable way. 

“We go into schools and give out free clothes to young people for their work experience and then do workshops around work etiquette, interview skills, confidence boosting, upcycling and recycling skills so they can understand how to restyle and repurpose their own clothing”. 

The impact on the community

The impact of Naala’s House can already be felt in the community and support that Miss Lartey is able to provide, which cements the vital importance of community-led organisations in giving personal support to those in need. She remembers an instance where a woman from the community came in for a workshop and explained to her that she was really struggling with her mental health and had plans to end her life. They sat together, creating a space for her to share her experiences and gain a deeper understanding of what she was experiencing. This interaction had a profound impact on Miss Lartey, helping her to also gain a deeper understanding of her own emotions. “I couldn’t believe that one person finally helped me understand something I was searching for within myself for years”.

Miss Lartey remembers that she got back in touch a few years later, joining a yoga workshop and that that interaction had also had a huge impact on her life, giving her space to think about her future and what was important to her. “She contacted me a couple of years later and said that the things she learned in my workshop woke her up to reality. When she told me everything I wanted to cry, I said I literally think about you all the time and you changed my life – I am so thankful for you”.

“I was just the thread in the stepping stone to her masterpiece and now she is her own masterpiece, which is beautiful”.

Plans for the future

Miss Lartey has huge ambitions for Naala’s House in the future and is currently looking to expand and provide even more support to the people in her community. “In the next six months, I want to open a shop and give away free clothing and haircuts. I want to do workshops around money management, sustainability and upcycling. I want people to come and bring their school clothing and get it amended and fixed for free. Life is hard and times are hard – but paying for school uniforms shouldn’t be”.

“I want to support young people, underprivileged children in schools with free clothing and confidence boosting and self-care and what that truly means, not the toxic said, but the sustainable side of it”.

She wants to create spaces, awards and celebrations for people within the community who might not get the recognition or support that they deserve. “I want to do a Christmas ball for the LGBT+ community, so that people who don’t have family or friends can come together and feel like they have a community to celebrate and be thankful for”.

“I also want to do a massive annual single parents award ceremony and bring in young people who advocate for their parents to get rewards and be celebrated for being a great parent”. 

Guiding principles

Based on her experiences, what she has learnt from herself and her community, Miss Lartey has created some guiding principles to help her stay on track and make sure that she is supporting herself and the people around her in the best way.

“The first is know yourself. Know yourself in every aspect – from your wellbeing to your mental health, your attachment styles to your personal style, how you function on a low day and a good day, how you are in the morning and what you need to boost your spirits. That’s my number one, know yourself, love yourself and understand yourself”.

“The second is to know the law and know your rights in every aspect, from your company to your contracts to the law to the law of human nature and nature itself. Know everything because knowledge is key”.

“My third one is to be your own advisor. Don’t be afraid to step out and live your dream or challenge things at work and get a better job or change your role completely. If things aren’t working, be ok to change that”.

“My fourth would definitely be family and friends – make a community of likeminded people or a tribe. I don’t mean blood family; I mean your chosen family. The people around you that love you, that see you, that feel you and encourage you”. 

“I always tell people to surround themselves with things they love and the people who love them. Get rid of anything that brings you pain and makes you have to work hard to be seen, acknowledged or celebrated”.

Miss Lartey’s journey to where she is now has definitely been a challenging one, but she has channelled her energy and experiences into being a part of the change she wanted to see. Her dedication to supporting her community and providing spaces for genuine connection and making sustainable differences is testament to her drive and determination to use her experiences for good. 

We are immensely proud of everything she has achieved and look forward to opportunities where Centrepoint and Naala’s House can work together to support young people and give them the skills, support and boost they deserve to reach their full potential.