Umar’s story: Life shrinks or expands depending on one’s courage

Facing instability and uncertainty

As a child, Umar experienced a lot of challenges within his home life and in the institutions that were meant to support him. Due to the difficulties he was facing in his home life and the lack of safety he felt, he found that this often bled into other areas of his life, including at school and with building relationships with others.

“For me, there were a lot of difficulties at home when I was growing up, and these had a big impact on my childhood and my education.”  

“All the things a child needs to feel safe, settled, or supported were often missing. I struggled both academically and socially, and for a long time I didn’t understand why.”

At 20, a medical professional suggested that Umar might be neurodivergent, and he was placed on the waiting list for a diagnosis, something that he wished had come much earlier in his life so that he could receive the support he needed. Not having the right framework in place growing up to help him navigate the world based on his needs caused unnecessary challenges.

“I was 20 before anyone suggested I might be dyslexic and have ADHD, by that point, a lot of damage had already been done.” 

After receiving his diagnosis, and with the difficulties in his family life compounding, he began working with a support worker who could advocate for his needs.

“I was referred by my GP to a charity where I met one of the most influential people in my life, a support worker named Helen. For me, she was a breath of fresh air, but for others she was a force to be reckoned with”.  

Umar then, due to the culmination of challenges with his family, was forced to leave the home and with no alternative options he went to the local council. After explaining his situation and that he needed emergency housing, he felt like the council didn’t know how to support him and he was moved around emergency accommodations. 

After thinking he had found stability and safety, he then had to pack up his things. However, after moving between different homes, he was then referred to Centrepoint which gave him a more solid place that he could begin to move forwards from.

“I was asked to leave the family home and then I had to declare myself as homeless which was just a bit of a farce with my local council. For the first time in a long time, the air felt lighter — like I could finally breathe. I went to sleep thinking I’d found some stability, and within 24 hours, it was taken away. They didn’t know what they were doing, and I was bounced around from emergency accommodation and then to Centrepoint.”

Driving himself forward

As soon as Umar moved in, he was clear about the role that Centrepoint would play in his life and how it could support his onward momentum. He saw his space as a stepping stone and a place where avenues could be opened to him and grabbed every opportunity with both hands.

He began working with the jobs and education team to get onto some courses that could help him to gain additional qualifications to support with his move on. However, as he had already achieved his health and social care qualification, he saw this as the springboard he needed for future opportunities.

“I saw Centrepoint as a stepping stone for my future. When I got to Centrepoint, I attended a few courses and had help from the JET team to get into plumbing course but that didn’t work out. And then I went from there and I already had a health and social care qualification so I thought I might as well use it. So, I was looking for opportunities and I’ve always tried to keep busy.”

Whilst looking for potential avenues and thinking about his long-term plan, he developed a close relationship with a training manager, who saw how much potential Umar had and wanted to make sure he had a space to nurture and grow his skills. 

Having her support and guidance, especially after experiencing a lot of instability in his formative years, stood out to Umar and he took the opportunity to drive himself forward. 

“There was a training manager who I was quite close with, and she really stood out to me. She always pushed me in the right direction and always said to me that I was going to go far. I never believed it, but she said she could see it. I feel like she’s probably one of the reasons why I was proactive with my life and when I came to Centrepoint because I wanted to see if I could get involved in opportunities.” 

“She gave me a quote which is, ‘life shrinks or expands depending on one’s courage’ and that is one thing that stayed with me. If I go for opportunities, my life with expand but if I keep to myself, then I can’t blame anyone else but myself if my life isn’t getting anywhere.” 

Umar has always been self-driven and for him, being his biggest supporter and having the boost from others has helped him to reach where he is. From only looking to the near future, having the space to develop into himself and see his full potential has meant that he’s now shifted his perspective to looking further into what’s to come.

Having the momentum and self-belief behind him means that he can see that his options are open to him and he doesn’t plan on slowing down anytime soon – carrying himself forward to see what he can and will achieve.

“I’ve always been my biggest supporter and my biggest motivator. I’ve obviously had support along the way from different people and at different points people have been there. But I’ve had a few knockbacks, and the main person is me at the end of the day – people can advise you as much as they can but if you don’t put the effort in then you can’t get to where you want to be.”

 “You can’t always rely on other people – I’ve tried to turn a lot of negatives in my life into positives. I’ve got the momentum going and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. I used to think, get through this year and then next year and see yourself here. But I think for the first time in forever, or maybe ever, I can see myself at my peak.”

Joining the Lived Experience Advisory Board (LEAB)

Umar found out about the LEAB after a staff member reached out to him, thinking that it might be a good thing for him to join and share some of his lived experience to help shape the work of Centrepoint and similar organisations.

He completed his application and was selected to be one of the 20 young people who were a part of the group – getting involved with different teams from supported housing to policy and campaigns.

After joining the group, Umar had a lot going on with his personal life and was struggling to attend the sessions – almost reaching a point where he thought that he might have to leave to prioritise himself. He explained his situation to the Participation Manager, and they agreed together that Umar should reduce his time in the group so that he was able to focus on himself.

“At the beginning of the LEAB, I was toing and froing about staying because I was under a lot of stress from my volunteering work at the hospital. I was struggling with my driving lessons, and I was panicking about that. My grandma got severely ill, and I just had so much going on. I told Tamsin and she said if it felt like I needed to pull back that I could go at my own pace. I’m so glad that she did this and I stayed.”

A real turning point for Umar and the LEAB was during a residential trip that the group attended in Yorkshire, where they have the opportunity to switch off, connect and cement their friendship within the collective. 

Their joint lived experience and drive to improve systems and support for other young people was a catalyst for them to come together and form immediate connections. Umar recognised just how important this group had become to him during those few days away and the impact that they could drive together. He knew that for him, and many of the young people within the group, that they had struggled with their family relationships and so finding each other meant they can build the chosen family they wanted. 

“We went for a residential away day, and it was the first time that I met them all. When we were waiting for the train back, I said ‘I just want to say that I love you all. You guys are like a family’. And in those moments, I realised what I missed out in the last few months. These lot are so genuine, they’re amazing and the fact that we’ve all come through the path of homelessness and maybe our relationships with our families aren’t the best that we’ve created a family of support within ourselves.”

A project that Umar has been instrumental in shaping has been developing the new assessment that all young people supported through Centrepoint complete when they arrive. Based on his own lived experience of completing the process, he and the group of other LEAB members on this project have completely reshaped this experience for young people.

“One of the main things I am actively a part of and that I really resonate with, is with the Homes team. I’ve been working on designing the new needs assessment for when young people come into a service.”

He went into the project not thinking that he would have the power to make that much of a difference – especially due to some negative narratives he had heard from other people about what young people could actually change. 

However, from being a part of this project from start to finish, he can see first-hand the huge impact that he has made not only for young people now but for generations to come. Knowing that the work he has been a part of now will change the futures of young people coming through Centrepoint services really motivated him to make the most of this opportunity and channel his own lived experience into something positive.

“I didn’t have much faith because I thought because of how much other people externally probably think that young people can’t achieve anything. And I’ve been told that by other people in the past things like ‘you’re not a policy maker’, ‘you’re not going to change the world’ and so from this narrative, I jumped into these opportunities with a little bit of hesitancy. But now we’ve fully changed the whole support model. One thing that blew my mind was that I thought we were creating one year’s worth of work and then pass it onto the next person. I never thought what we are doing now will last – but they might use this for 15 or 20 years.” 

“I thought from that moment, I need to get my head in the game. I was putting my all in anyways, but it was just a bigger motivator to make sure that I was doing everything correctly. Because it could go both ways. If we didn’t get this correct, it could be 15 years of young people not getting what they need. And I know that sounds heavyweight, but I work a bit better under pressure! But I also see the other side that I could be inspiring young people for the next 15 years.”

Now that the project has come to an end and the first iteration of the LEAB has completed its final session, Umar is reflecting just on what the experience has meant to him. It’s been a bittersweet ending, knowing that he has made lifelong friends and a tangible difference for the lives of other young people but also knowing that he will miss the opportunities and regular connections.

“It's so special and to think that’s coming to an end is bittersweet. We’re all proud of what we have achieved, and I can’t believe how much we have done in a year. But it’s coming to an end, and I hope that we stay in touch, but people get busy in their own lives.”

What he has noticed the most within himself, and what others have seen in him, is the vast change in his confidence and comfortability within himself, which is continuing to drive him forward. He remembered an opportunity where he recently spoke at The National Youth Homelessness Conference and the impact of having his fellow LEAB members there with him. Feeling apprehensive about speaking in front of an audience of hundreds about his lived experience, knowing that they were there to cheer him on and give him the boost has been what he was searching for. 

“I remember when I did my speech at the conference, they were cheering me on before I went on and when I came off, they were the loudest in the room. It’s these little things like when I told them I had an interview they were all buzzing for me and then when I told them I got the job, they were all sending their congratulations. I’ve longed for that for years – I wish I had people who I could tell my achievements to, and they would be happy for me. And I finally have that; it’s a bit surreal. I’m so glad that I met them.” 

“I’m so grateful for this opportunity – I can see the ball rolling. People I see what I’m achieving and the opportunities. They say my confidence has come through a lot.”

He’s hopeful that the next group of LEAB members will be able to share in the positive experience he had with his group recognising the inherent value of a group of likeminded people coming together to build something that will have a long-lasting impact.

“I just hope that the next cohort have the same experience. I hope that they all get on as much as we have. I never thought that 20 strangers could come together, and it would feel like I’ve known them forever. They made me feel so easy – it’s not even just a collective thing, I feel like I could sit in a room with any of them and chat for ages and that is so special.” 

“With the LEAB having that support, it has just been amazing. I can’t describe it any other way.” 

When he reflects on his journey with the LEAB, he recognises that he has been able to get involved in activities he never saw himself doing. Being able to grow his skills and push himself to try new things, has meant he’s noticed a monumental shift within how he sees himself and his future.

“Whilst I was in the LEAB, my confidence continued to grow. This meant I was finding myself taking in opportunities and responsibilities that I could have never imagined myself taking when I had first joined the LEAB. I was given the chance to chair meetings, helping to guide conversations and ensuring that everyone had the opportunity to contribute in their own ways. I also decided to step out of my comfort zone with the support of staff at Centrepoint, to represent the voice of young people and speak to professionals. One of my proudest moments was when I opened up Centrepoint's 8th Annual National Youth Homelessness Conference. At the time, my health was being physically affected in a really negative way which led to moments where I was questioning whether or not I would still be able to do it. However, with the support of LEAB, staff and my own determination to make a difference, I gained the confidence to step forward. Knowing that I would be speaking not just for myself, but for those who couldn't find the courage themselves. Looking back, I can see from these different experiences, how much I have grown as an individual, from someone who had no self-belief and low self-confidence, to an individual who is confident in leading conversations, advocating for others and using my voice to influence change.” 

Volunteer of the Year and finding his dream role

After moving out of his Centrepoint supported home, and whilst looking for a career that was right for him, Umar began his volunteering journey – giving his time to a local children’s hospital. He’s really enjoyed the opportunity to work with the children on the ward and was even recently recognised for all his achievements by his local community, nominating him for Volunteer of the Year. 

“I went about my work and did what I was doing, and I got an email congratulating me for being nominated and chosen as a finalist for the whole of my local area for Volunteer of the Year. I thought it was a joke, so I sent it to spam! It’s a reflection of myself, I’ve done this, and I should be so proud of myself.”

Umar went on to come second place out of thousands of nominations, truly highlighting his unwavering dedication to his local community and the evident positive impact he has had on those around him.

He can already feel the impact of working with the LEAB and developing his self-confidence through his nomination, taking the time to really recognise just what he’s achieved, being proud to talk about it and show just what he’s capable of.

“I used to be too scared to put stuff like this on my CV because I thought it was showboating, but now I know that employers need to see it. Like with all these things, there’s been a lot of personal growth.”

He’s also recently secured a position in his dream career of being a support worker for children and young people, beginning a role in a residential home. 

“I’m going to be at a children’s residential home. I’ll be starting on nights, and they’ve said that if there’s any days, I might be able to do them.”

After being a part of the LEAB whilst he took part in his interview, he felt confident in talking about his own lived experience and brought this into the meeting, explaining how well suited he would be to the role after being supported in similar ways.

“I said in my interview that I had been through a service myself, so I know what support I wanted from my support work. I know how my support worker helped me and how I could help them.”

He’s felt drawn to a career as a support worker from a young age, craving his own sense of stability and wanting to ensure that no one else feels the way that he has felt growing up. He realises that this has always been the direction he saw himself heading towards and now that he’s reaching his goals, he can see the journey that’s taken him there.

“I think from a young age, because I had an unstable home, and I knew what instability has done to me, I never wanted other people to feel like that. And when I talk about myself, I realise, I’ve always been on this trajectory my whole life. I look back and think I was born to be this kind of a person.”

Sharing his reflections and advice

Umar’s journey shows his unwavering motivation and self-belief to reach his goals and his full potential. From living with Centrepoint to advising staff members on how to make service improvements, he can see the distance he has come in his journey and how it will take him forward to achieve his goal of one day being one of the support team who works with young people just like him.

“A few weeks ago, I was in my old service, and I was talking to managers about what they needed to be and how they could do things better.” 

“It was a bit of a full circle moment because I only moved on last year and I never thought that I would be becoming a support worker for other people. My main aim is to get into the doors of Centrepoint.”

Having this full circle moment to reflect on what he has been able to achieve and what has guided him to the point he’s at now, he’s been able to see the principles and advice that have helped him to reach where he is. He’s grateful that he took the leap to join in with the LEAB – something that he didn’t think would be something he would enjoy. 

However, he’s now seen the impact up close of being involved in these opportunities and being able to share his voice to make change – knowing that it’s not only had a positive impact for him but will do for young people for decades to come.

“If I stayed quiet when I was in Centrepoint, and I just stayed in my room, I wouldn’t be where I am today in any aspect. And then the same for LEAB, if I didn’t put my name down for certain opportunities, I wouldn’t be influencing certain decisions that are made. You never know who’s listening to your voice as well – it just takes that one specific person to hear you. And I think that’s one thing that a lot of young people don’t often get.”

“This goes for a lot of different things, but I’d say, if you’re considering something then take that leap and go for it. If you feel like LEAB’s your thing, then just go for it, it might just be your thing.”

From joining the group and not feeling the most confident in his abilities, to now not only reaching his goals but surpassing them, Umar truly embodies sheer determination and drive. He urges other young people to try new experiences and take up different opportunities, because you never know where they might take them. And for him, it’s clear the monumental impact these experiences have had. 

“I wasn’t the loudest in the room and I didn’t have the most confidence but just go for it. Sometimes you have to take risks in life, and they pay off. And if they don’t, it’s an experience and at least you’ve tried it because you don’t know what you’re missing out on if you don’t go for it.”

Everyone at Centrepoint is so proud to see what Umar has been able to achieve and the huge impact he has had and will have for years to come – we just can’t wait to see where he goes next.