Mars's Story: Finding acceptance and independence at Centrepoint

Mars knew they were queer and trans for a long time.  Coming out to  friends in secondary school was a relief, but they couldn’t face telling their mum the truth.

“My mum came from a different culture and generation and didn’t believe that people were queer. She thought of it as an attention-seeking phase. It wasn’t her fault, she just didn’t understand.”

At home, Mars lacked privacy. Their mum made them keep the bedroom door open at all times and often entered unannounced, often being aggressive towards them.

“She often complained about the state of my room and told me I was lazy and disgusting. I was really struggling with my mental health and my room sometimes reflected that. Teachers at school had noticed that I was struggling, particularly during the Pandemic.”

“One parent’s evening, my teacher suggested I get some support through the school counselling service. My mum was adamant I didn’t need it. She thought that if you need therapy, there must be something very wrong with you. I was crying out for help in so many ways, but she couldn’t see it. She is from a generation and culture that never spoke about mental health.”

Despite her mother causing so much turmoil, Mars remains empathic. 

“She's the type of mother who's sacrificed everything for me,” they explain. “I don’t blame her for her views, but she made things difficult for me.”

One fateful day, Mars’s mum read messages on their phone that exposed their identity and sexuality. She confronted Mars.

“She told me I was a disgrace and a shameful person and that I had to leave. It was the last straw anyway. I couldn’t live there anymore; I felt suffocated and would not have survived if I had stayed.”

Mars packed their belongings and left, calling a friend to ask if they could stay with them.

“I was lucky to have such a supportive friend. Their mum made me realise what it felt like to have a supportive parent and to be understood. I realised things could be different.”

Finding Centrepoint

Mars’s friend’s mum suggested they call the Centrepoint Helpline for advice.

“I called them and spoke to an advisor named Jack. He explained my rights and what I needed to tell the council. I felt so relieved after talking to him.”

Following Jack’s advice, Mars went to the council with their friend’s mum and explained the situation. Just a few days later, Mars was referred to a Centrepoint service for an assessment.

“The service manager was so nice. She explained that the room wasn’t quite ready yet, but she let me look around and explained how everything worked and the support they could offer. I felt excited about the thought of having my own room and my own space.”

A few days later, Mars got the call from Centrepoint to say they could move in.

“I was overjoyed. It was just after my birthday, and it was the best present I could ever have hoped for.”

Mars’s friend helped them move in and set up their room just as they liked it.

“I can’t tell you how it felt to have my own space, where I was safe and could finally be myself.” they explain. “When I step into my room, I feel like I am home. I feel calm and happy.”

Support from Centrepoint

Since being at Centrepoint, Mars has participated in cooking classes, been referred to a psychotherapist for mental health support, and received help from their key worker with accessing benefits and learning independent living skills.

“The staff here have been incredible. I can come to them whenever I need something. If I am feeling sad, I know I can come and talk it through. It’s been nothing short of life-changing.”

The service manager, Cheryl, has been a huge support to Mars, especially when they were struggling with finances when they first accessed benefits.

“There were times when I didn't know if I'd be able to feed myself. She gave me vouchers to buy food. At one point, I had no money to even go to work. She helped me go to the train station and put money on my Oyster card. I was so grateful. “

Mars’s key worker Saheed has also been an important mentor.

“We have our jokes and banters, but when I have something serious going on he's very perceptive,” Max reflects. “Even when I try to hide it, he knows what's going on. He never fails to ask me if I'm okay and is always there if I need to talk. He always manages to put a smile on my face.”

Since being at Centrepoint, Mars has finally been able to access the mental health support they have been crying out for. They have been able to talk to one of the dedicated psychotherapists called Anna.

“She’s given me a safe space to talk through the things I am going through and she listens which is what I’ve always needed. She helps me figure out how articulate my emotions. She doesn’t judge or make me feel weird for expressing my confused feelings," Mars explains.

As well as all the other support, Mars has loved participating in cooking sessions with Centrepoint’s hospitality trainer, Sarah.

“I love being around her. Whenever she sends me a message to say she is running a session, I get so excited.” Mars enthuses. “She creates this very welcoming atmosphere. Yesterday, we made mac and cheese and I learnt how to make a cheese sauce which was something I didn’t know how to do and I will definitely use that skill again.”

“There isn’t a single thing that the staff at Centrepoint haven't done for me and I am eternally grateful. I can feel myself growing as a person."

A sense of home

For Mars, Centrepoint is somewhere where they finally feel peaceful.

“I realised I felt truly at home when I started to look forward to coming home; when I wasn't scared of coming home. I finally feel like I belong.”

Mars has particularly enjoyed making their room their own.

“My room is a reflection of who I am as a person. If someone were to come into my room without ever meeting me, I’d want them to get a good understanding of me. Decorating my room makes it feel safe and comfortable in my environment. I love adding posters and tapestries and my own artworks. I want it to be bright and colourful so that it feels like me. The staff at the service call my room ‘a small paradise.’

Mars was at university when they became homeless and had to drop out. They want to focus on improving their mental wellbeing before making big life decisions on education and employment. They have a passion for performing arts and hope to pick this up again when they feel stronger.